The Tycoon

Ok, so I promised that I would tell you about all the weirdos in my classes at school and this guy is by far the number one weirdo. I first noticed him on the first day of class because it was pouring outside and he was wearing a clear plastic cowboy-hat-shaped cover over his cowboy hat. Wow, just wow. This is california by the way, not tex-ass or the south. To make matters worse for this guy he happens to have a lisp and something weird about his wubble-u's. He basically talks like a retarded cartoon character. He is taking engineering classes because he is interested in chemical and nuclear engineering, (shiiit) and I swear to god when the teacher passed around a survey about our career goals he wrote "Tycoon".

To make things even more comical he had a friend who I also gave a nickname: fat sandaled kid. This guy is one dull bulb and wearing shorts and sandals while it was pouring rain/snowing was my first clue. My second was this overheard conversation about our class project where we have to build a box to keep an egg from breaking on a two story fall:

The Tycoon: Now, I wonda, if there might exist an egg that is similar in appearance to a chicken egg, if you will, but with a slightly thicka shell.

Fat Sandaled Kid: like an ostrich egg, maybe...

The Tycoon: Now I don't know if that would be convincin' enough, you see?

The Tycoon: What if we created, or engineered, if you will, our own egg. We could find some strong white material and put some yellow goo inside.

Fat Sandaled Kid: like carve it out of marble or something?

The Tycoon: I recon' that may be a bit on the heavy side. How about thrustas.

Fat Sandaled Kid: yeah...

The Tycoon: The device could use compressed air, not so much that it shoots it up, if you will, but just enough to slow its descent.

Fat Sandaled Kid: i guess

The Tycoon: I'll talk to my friend, who is interviewing at NASA, and see about getting some state of the art materials.

Fat Sandaled Kid: alrighty

The Tycoon: Alrighty indeed.